People Say the Darnedest Things: 16 hilarious things that People Have Said to an American Traveling Abroad
March 31, 2017
16 hilarious things that People Have Said to an American (ME!) Traveling Abroad
As an American traveling abroad, I love when people ask me the most outrageous and hilarious questions ever.It not only makes me smile, but it also shows me how people around the world perceive the citizens of my country. And the great part is, I can actually use this experience to educate others about the fallacies and realities of life in America. So, without further delay (Actually there was this one time, at band camp…just kidding), here are some of the funniest things that people have ever asked me while I was traveling abroad, and believe it or not, some of the answers to these questions were definitely YES!
Vocabulary Vices: 16 Hilarious Things that People have said to an American Traveling Abroad
1. “Are all American women like Samantha from Sex and the City?” And they were not referring to my self-sufficiency and my effortless style and grace (I have neither style nor grace. I am one of those people who trip over my own feet, so high heels are out of the question). This person basically wanted to know if all American women were easy. And I hate to break your heart, but the answer is no. While we enjoy sex as much as the next person, as a population, we are not running around the world and looking to ravish all the foreigners that we come in contact with. I mean, if that’s your things, go for it. This blog is a judgment free zone (Like Planet Fitness. LoL).
2. “Oh, you’re from the United States? Do you know my friend Amanda, she lives in Wyoming?” This one ALWAYS cracks me up. And I get it. American geography is probably not a top priority in classrooms around the world, but the short answer is that the United States is huge, and has a ton of people. So, just because someone is from the U.S., doesn’t mean I am actually going to know them. I mean, I live in New York and New York City is huge, so the chances of me knowing your friend who lives in New York City are pretty slim, so there is no way I would know your friend from Wyoming ( but i’m sure they’re super cool!).
3. “Wow, Americans are happy all the time!” Aww!! Thanks. I have heard this one a lot and
we do tend to look on the bright side of things. But I assure you, I have met some pretty nasty, miserable Americans in my day. Plenty of people here are walking around with a cloud of doom hanging over their head. So I swear, many of us are totally miserable and hate our
4. “Can you teach me how to speak like a rapper?” This one had me dying after the shock of what was said wore off. I honestly, don’t even know what they meant. I mean I guess they wanted to speak in rap lyrics? All I know is that I am not a rapper so I can’t help you. But I do know that some of the lyrics in rap songs can be kind of offensive so i would steer clear of this type of vocabulary when speaking English on a daily basis.
5. “Why are some Americans so rude?” I dunno, maybe they think they’re better than everyone else? I have no clue. All I know is that I was taught to be kind and courteous and to always use the words please and thank you. To this day, and I’m 32, I still call my friend’s parents Mr. and Mrs. Powell because even though I am an adult, I still feel weird calling them by their first names.
6. “Do Americans REALLY eat McDonald’s all the time?” I don’t think I could eat McDonald’s everyday, even if I wanted to. My stomach would launch a full on protest and there would be no way I could eat the stuff. And actually, truth be told, I can’t even remember the last time I ate McDonald’s. So while fast food is popular here, most Americans do at least try to exercise and eat healthy foods. But I totally get where this question is coming from. Portion size in the United States can be insanely large (and anyone who has been to New York City knows this is true). That and, statistically speaking, 68.8% of American are considered either overweight or obese (yikes!), so I can understand where people might get this idea from.
7. “You are so lucky, your life must be JUST like Gossip Girl” Omg, I wish. I mean, I do live in New York but that’s like the only similarity between my life and Gossip Girl. So sadly,, my parents are not millionaires and I don’t ride around in a limo. I have also never been to a celebrity fashion show or had my own lavishly decorated, debutante ball. My dad is a plumber and my mom was a secretary, so my life is and was about as far from a Gossip Girl episode as you can get.
8. “I never have
to worry about hearing what an American is saying” Guilty as charged on this one, at least for me. I am an extremely loud talker (Even by American standards! Let’s just say I never need a microphone), but not everyone is like me because I get told to be quiet all the time. LoL. But I do genuinely feel bad
hen I bother other people and try to be as quiet as possible, if the situation calls for it.
9. “Am I going to get shot if I visit America?” No, probably not. I mean, unless you go to a really
bad neighborhood; and even then, the chances are slim. Sure, we all have the RIGHT to carry a gun, but not everyone does. And while I do know that incarceration and crime rates here are higher than in other countries around the world, I actually don’t know anyone who carries a gun or who has been the victim of gun violence, and I have lived in New York most of my life. So no need to buy a bullet proof vest before you visit the States (Three cheers for saving money!).
10. “You must know SO many celebrities!” Hahahaha, If you mean waited on some at a restaurant, then yes, but in any other circumstance, no. My life is SOO not that exciting. I am just a normal girl who doesn’t really hang out in those type of social circles, I’d rather travel. But Leonardo DiCaprio, if you’re reading this then give me a call!
11. “It must be so nice to be rich!” Omg, I would LOVE for this to be true. Seriously universe, pretty please with a cherry on top? Well, sadly no, not right now. I only travel because I work hard and saved most of my money. Plus, both of my parents were just ordinary, working class people, so there are no trust funds and or secret offshore bank accounts in my future. And it’s like that for most people in the United States. Sadly, we all cannot be reoccurring cast members on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.
And the one liners that are SOO true, it hurts!
1. “Wow. Everything is so BIG in America” Because we’re consumer whores?? LoL. Just kidding.
But this one is kind of true. Maybe it’s because we’re from a big country? I have no idea. But we do have big houses, big cars, big drinks, and big meals. An American life motto is something along the lines of, ” bigger is always better”.
2. “You guys sure like to wear Khaki pants.” LoL. I was surprised when I heard this one because I never really thought about it. I don’t wear khaki pants but a lot of men and women do, so this one is kind of true and kind of hilarious. Oh us khaki loving Americans.
3. “You guys sure love sneakers.” We sure do!! I actually never wear high heels. Like ever. I look like an elephant when I stomp around in them. Plus, they really hurt my feet and make walking rather difficult. So, like many of my American brethren, I opt for comfy sneakers. But I swear, mine are super cool Tom’s or Converse sneakers. I mean, I have an image to uphold right (I actually don’t because I’m a nanny and a baby basically just spits up on me all day)?
4. “Seriously, you don’t know where Bavaria is?” Nope. I am terrible at geography like most of the people I know. I mean, I know we have a Bavarian Cream donut, so does that count? But you have to remember that this is coming from the girl who thought LaGuardia airport was in New Jersey, when it is actually in New York. I am so geographically hopeless that I don’t even know where things are in my own home state. But I seriously think that most Americans would have no idea that Bavaria is a part of Germany (See, I learned something new today! But t’s also terrible that I didn’t know this because my grandma was from Germany. Ooppps)
5. “So, how many other languages do you speak besides English?” Umm, does pig latin count? Okay, I am not THAT bad. I can speak a little bit of Spanish but I am not great at it. Besides, I have enough trouble with English, do I really need to learn another language (Totally joking. Wish I knew way more languages than I actually do)? Truth be told, we are kind of spoiled since English is practically at universal language.But I think it would be great if Americans revamped the language education system and learned to speak as many different languages as other citizens around the world.