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The Art of Convincing Your Parents to Allow You to Travel Alone (and not freak out)

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Travel Hacks 101: Convincing Your Parents to Let You Travel Alone!!

Let Me Guess:

You need to start convincing your parents to let you travel alone because they have either a) already freaked out or b) you’re afraid they’re about to freak out when you tell them about your travel plans (talk about solo travel problems).

Homie, I Totally Get it.

I got the SAME reaction when I casually mentioned to my parents that I would be moving to Korea (South Korea, not North Korea, where their fears would have been totally justified) to teach English.

Really:

When I told them, they started screaming about how disappointed they were in me and how they didn’t even know who I was anymore.

One of the most difficult aspects of solo travel is convincing your parents to let you do some solo female travel. So if you are looking up solo female travel destinations, you may want to check out this post and see how you can persuade your parents to let you travel alone. Trust me, it's better to talk to them before just going off on a solo female travel Europe adventure. #solotravel #travel #traveltips #wanderlust #solofemaletravel

Between the anger, sadness, and humor I wanted to Say:

Come on guys really? I’m not selling my kidneys on the black market. I’m moving to Seoul to teach English to kindergarteners. I’m not selling my body for drugs or inducting myself into a gang that uses brass knuckles and homemade shanks to fight.

Mom and Dad, Melodramatic Much?

But all kidding aside for a hot five seconds. What do you do? I mean, do you follow your heart and completely terrify your parents or do you resentful stay home and blame them forever for stifling your dreams.

That’s Why I’m Here!

Believe me, there is a compromise to be found. And if I can do it, you can do too! I mean, I traveled all over the world and my dad still speaks to me (my mom is no longer alive but she supported me till the end, even after the initial freak out).

And this support from the man who said:

“Mark my words, you’ll regret this one day. You’re gonna get sold into the SEX SLAVE TRADE” (in reference to my traveling to Tokyo. Don’t ask me what he has against Japan but I found solo female travel to be Japan to be just as safe as solo travel to New York City).

But Onwards to the Steps Needed To Start Convincing Your Parents to Let You be Part of Our Ever-Growing Solo Female Travel Group!

One of the most difficult aspects of solo travel is convincing your parents to let you do some solo female travel. So if you are looking up solo female travel destinations, you may want to check out this post and see how you can persuade your parents to let you travel alone. Trust me, it's better to talk to them before just going off on a solo female travel Europe adventure. #solotravel #travel #traveltips #wanderlust #solofemaletravel
How I felt when my parents forced me into CCD (Catholic religious school)

This post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure for more information. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases.

If you’re booking a trip right now then I IMPLORE you to get travel insurance – even if it’s not from me.

After all, this past year has been a wild ride and I don’t want you to lose money because government regulations have changed. 

Truth be told though, I’ve never traveled without travel insurance and don’t think you should either – especially since I think we’ve all had plans drastically change because of the pandemic. 

Therefore, find an insurance agency that covers travel changes related to COVID-19, like my two all-time faves World Nomads and Safety Wing. You can also read more about which policy is right for you in my full review here.

1. Talk to Your Parents (without a strategically placed eye roll)!

I know this one can be kind of hard, especially when your parents are caught between throwing a temper tantrum and being totally melodramatic and overprotective, but honestly, they may not know how you feel!

Believe it or Not:

They are not psychics and may have no idea what is going on and why you want to solo travel. I mean, if I had been more open and honest with my parents about how I was feeling and about what I was thinking of doing, they may have better understood what I was doing and why.

If I Had Communicated:

They may have even had more empathy for me. But instead, I chose to hide my feelings and spring this news on them, almost like I was suddenly saying, “Surprise, I have an STD! Aren’t you proud?”

PS:

Contrary to popular belief, your parents are not doing this to torture you and make you miserable.

Shocking, I Know!

In actuality, they love you, care about you, and are just worried that something might happen to you. I mean, my parents could have expressed this in a nicer way, but once I understood their motives, it was easier to have compassion for them and let go of some of my Titanic size, self-righteous anger.

(I wanted to be like, “If you guys could love me a little less, that’d be great. Thanks)

Or if they could have thrown some constructive, solo female travel tips my way, that would have been cool too.

One of the most difficult aspects of solo travel is convincing your parents to let you do some solo female travel. So if you are looking up solo female travel destinations, you may want to check out this post and see how you can persuade your parents to let you travel alone. Trust me, it's better to talk to them before just going off on a solo female travel Europe adventure. #solotravel #travel #traveltips #wanderlust #solofemaletravel
My brother literally thought my mom traveled across the US in a Conestoga Wagon,

2. Prove to Them That You Can Handle Traveling Alone

Ever Get the Line:

“It’s not that we don’t trust you. We just don’t trust all those crazy people in the world today”

Well, I Hate to Break it to You:

But they are kind of right. I know, whose side am I on anyway? Um, whoever is reading this female solo travel blog, that’s who. Because to me, you’re a genius, sprinkled with some of Cindy Crawford’s insane beauty, just for good measure.

Okay, I’ll stop Blowing Smoke Up Your Ass and Try to Be Helpful!

But you’re parents are right. There are really awful people out there who could really hurt you, both at home and abroad.

Therefore:

Your job is to show your parents that you know how to deal with these type of people and make them see that yes, you can indeed take care of yourself while traveling alone (Wouldn’t hurt to show them a list of some of the safest cities for solo female travelers. Parents LOVE stuff like that).

One of the most difficult aspects of solo travel is convincing your parents to let you do some solo female travel. So if you are looking up solo female travel destinations, you may want to check out this post and see how you can persuade your parents to let you travel alone. Trust me, it's better to talk to them before just going off on a solo female travel Europe adventure. #solotravel #travel #traveltips #wanderlust #solofemaletravel

How?

Research solo travel safety tips and look up some of the best countries for solo female travelers, Doing this will show your parents that you are aware of the special challenges that solo female travel creates and that you know exactly how to keep yourself safe.

This Way:

They will feel more at ease knowing that you understand how to handle the difficult situations that will inevitably arise when you go on trips for solo female travelers.

(Whatever you do, don’t throw a temper tantrum, jump up and down and scream, “But I wanna go! It’s not fair! Cindy’s mom lets her do anything!” Yeah, acting like you’re five isn’t going to do much to reassure your parents of how mature you are.)

3. Contact them on a Regular Basis

I’ll Admit it:

I am terrible at this one. I mean, I went to Key West for an entire semester in college and didn’t call my mom for like two months. Shocker, she was pissed (whoops).

Yup, not a smooth move on my part. 

So learn from me and keep your parents in the loop. Coordinate your schedule with them and figure out a time of day (or days) to call/text/skype/email them and then stick with it.

Otherwise, they might think that you have become an inadvertent star of a TAKEN sequel.

And No:

The fact that you did NOT end up on the ten o’clock evening news does not count as active communication.

This Way:

Not only will they know that you are safe, but if anything does happen, they’ll quickly realize that something is wrong and immediately send help you way (Their major worry is that something will happen to you and they will have absolutely no idea.

So help put them at ease and make everyone’s life easier).

Also:

On a less morbid note, while you chat with them, you can discuss your trip, show them how much fun you’re having, and even share your love of travel with them so that they understand why solo travel, or travel in general, is  so important to you.

4. Show them the Defense Department Website

This was a HUGE selling point for my parents when I moved to Korea.

Why?

At the time, shocker, relations between North and South Korea were pretty intense. And by intense I mean horrendous.

The result?

My parents thought I was gonna get blown up by a nuclear bomb every five minutes (Oh Kim Jong-un, you saucy minx you)

The Solution?

I showed them the Department of Defense website and all of the travel alerts issued by the government.

Okay, sometimes the travel alerts weren’t so great and made things ten times worse since the government is super cautious.

However:

I used the site to register with the American embassy in South Korea.

This way, not only would I get email notifications if political tensions between the two countries worsened (aka danger, danger, runaway), but if an emergency evacuation was ever necessary, the State Department would haul my ass out of the country.

Thank God that never happened.

Yup, My Parents Loved that Part!

And I am now dying. LoL.

5. Involve them in the Trip Planning Process

This is another tip that I kind of sucked at since my parents and I were both pissy and basically didn’t want to acknowledge each other for about a week.

But if I Had to do it Over:

I totally would have included them in the trip planning process to help them feel more involved in my life and like they were making some sort of contribution.

I mean:

I may not actually take their advice into consideration (especially about not visiting Japan), but I could have compromised by listening to their opinion about what I should see and do while I was there. Make them feel like their opinion mattered to me.

No Trust Me, This Will Go a Long Way.

This one is huge because if I have learned anything from being old as dirt, it’s that even when you grow up, your parents still won’t stop worrying about you.

And as you get older, and they have less control over your life, it is even more terrifying for them because they can’t really keep you safe.

All they can do is hope that you use the tools they have (hopefully) given you to make good decisions.

Geez, I sound like my Mom!

But it’s true. In the end, most parents are just scared that you’ll get hurt and get upset because this is yet another reminder that oh yeah, they have like zero control over your life.

Mom anxiety is an actual thing.

6. Validate Their Feelings

This one is another really important tool that once again, I did not use.

Sigh. If only I was wiser.

Rather than validating my parent’s concerns and acknowledging that there was some (even if minuscule and totally overblown) validity behind their feelings, I blew them off and gave them the cold shoulder or the proverbial, “eff you”.

My whole attitude was that of an angsty teenager who was like, “Ugh. Mom and Dad, really, what do you know about anything?”

The Truth Is:

Your parents have a lot more life experience and there may be some truth to their concerns.

So instead of being pissy:

It is much more helpful to say something like, “I understand your concerns and where you’re coming from. What can I do to make you feel more at ease?”

Make it Stop!

Or something along those lines that doesn’t sound so clinical.

Oh man, I really am starting to sound like my parents. Next thing you know I’ll be eating Tapioca pudding through a straw, receiving sponge baths from a non-hot male nurse, and complaining about how the world has gone to hell in a handbasket.

Dear God, what have I become?

7. Get Travel Insurance

My dad can always be counted on to be super upbeat and positive about all of my travel plans.

HAHAHA! Biggest Lie Ever!

Truth be told, when my dad heard that I was traveling to Ecuador, he worried that I might get everything from Dunged Fever to Malaria.

I mean, even when I went to Spain he somehow found this story in the newspaper about a girl who was studying abroad there, contracted Meningitis, had to be airlifted home, and was now in a coma.

Still deciding which is more important. LoL.

Thanks, Dad. I feel Way to make me feel LOADS better. He even said they were in millions of dollars of debt because she didn’t have travel insurance.

So even though my dad went about it the wrong way, he was right in reminding me that everyone MUST purchase travel medical insurance.

In Reality:

You never know when a catastrophe will strike and just because you’re on vacation, doesn’t mean that you are in some sort of magical bubble that makes you totally immune to any and all bad luck.

I wish this magic bubble wrap really did exist.

Therefore, if you get sick, you want to be certain that you will receive proper medical care and that you won’t go into lifelong debt in doing so.

So make your parents and your future self-happy and get the damn travel insurance.

Weakness coupon, party of one.

8. Emphasize the Lessons that Travel Will Teach You

In my situation, my parents constantly thought I was on the verge of death, at the hands of some mythical terrorist group in their minds. And it didn’t help that my dad took my Mom to see Taken. Way to go Dad.

So:

When my parents complained about my lack of life experience, I basically wanted to scream at them, “How can I get any life experience if I don’t leave the house?”

Terrible Tactic on My Part and Rather Dramatic. 

But in reality, solo travel does teach you how to be more mature (Unless someone says the word penis. Then all bets are off), independent, resilient, and to develop problem-solving skills that will help you succeed in the world at large.

Plus:

These skills will look damn good on any resume or job/school application that you fill out. Even throw in the word, “self-starter” and you’ll be golden.

We call this an Education in Life that Your Parents Don’t Have to Pay For

Think of travel is a learning opportunity and one really huge, continuing education program.

9. Let Them Be Wrong

Truth Be Told:

I was gonna do what I wanted, no matter what my parents said, especially since they were being totally ridiculous.

And Guess What?

That’s Okay! Parents are humans. They make mistakes and can be totally wrong. So, let them! They don’t have some magic life rulebook that has predictive capabilities.

Yup!

Like all of us, they are trying to do their best every single day. And well, sometimes their best kind of sucks.

But that’s okay because sometimes my best is a bit sucktastic too. Just talk to my dad, he’ll explicitly lay out every single one of my flaws.

This makes me feel so much better about my parenting capabilities.

That’s Why: 

In some instances, you’ve just got to accept that your parents are allowed to be wrong and that they can disapprove of you, and your actions, if that’s what floats their boat.

Trust me, there is no changing some people, or their opinions, and you can burn yourself out trying to do so.

That’s Why It May Be Best to Just Let Parents Do Their Thing and Have Their Crazy Ideas

This is one of the reasons why I never talk politics with my dad. There is no point.

He won’t change me, I won’t change him, and the conversation will just end with both of us getting royally pissed off and hating each other.

10. Remember, It’s Your Life (It’s My Party and I Can Cry if I Want to)

This One is Huge (that and you can always blame me when your parents ask where you got these crazy ideas from)!

You get one life, that’s it. And I know it’s trite, but it’s true. So at the end of the day, only you know what is best for you, not your parents.

Plus:

I honestly believe that the worst thing you can ever do is live a life full of regret. So don’t live a life for your parents. Trust me, I tried and it didn’t make them, or me, any happier.

That’s Why:

I chose to live in Korea. If I had stayed home, then my family and I just would have sat home being pissy and miserable together. And honestly, no one needs that kind of negativity in their life.

11. Figure out your finances

“How will you cover the cost of this? “your parents will definitely ask this and you will undoubtedly need to reply. We’ll need to see some receipts, and if you’re feeling creative, a spreadsheet.

Instead of just saying, “I’ll apply for some scholarships,” or “I’m going to use my money,” we’re going to require some evidence.

Your quest for your wanderlust adventure will be more focused if you are aware of your current financial situation.

To estimate the expense of your trip, budget for everything—including travel by bus, hotels, and even transportation—and then set aside an additional 30%.

Due to the fact that you must pay for everything in full while traveling alone, the vacation may be slightly more expensive.

For instance, if you are traveling with two buddies, all accommodations, uber rides, and occasionally meals may be shared among the three of you. So keep in mind that doing so by itself also entails a slight increase in cost.

Your parents might wish to see evidence of a source of income if you intend to stay abroad for a lengthy amount of time. Many options exist for making money while traveling.

Depending on the location, you may even manage to live very nicely on a small fraction of what an average day in the US would cost.

Your parents will feel more confident that you are committed to this trip if you are aware of the financial scenario you are entering and have a clear financial plan.

Additional Travel Resources You’ll Love

Carpe Flipping Diem!

I’ll be the First one to Admit:

I am not a psychologist. I just like to pretend I play one on TV.

LoL. But Seriously:

These are only some suggestions that may help a fellow, traveling solo female out there.  But these tips will probably not work for all parents, especially the kind that are miserable and just want you to be miserable too.

Therefore:

Take everything I say with a grain of salt because I am not a trained professional and cannot solve any and all of your problems, like Dr. Phil and Oprah, can (kidding).

Just Remember Though:

Nine times out of ten, people will respond much more favorably to love that to hate. So moral of the story? Don’t be a total dick and your parents MIGHT be a bit more understanding.

I am drawn to bad decisions like a moth to a flame.

*** Please note this Disclaimer: On my blog, I sometimes use affiliate links. I will always tell you and these links are only for items that I use and approve of. If you click an affiliate link and purchase that product or service, I will be paid a small commission but your cost will still; remain the same or less. I will always disclose this at the bottom of the post. This money goes towards keeping this site online. Note: We are a participant in an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to affiliated sites. If you found this website helpful, please support it

 

Jada

Saturday 11th of September 2021

Hi! I want to start off by saying that I'm very grateful for the tips and advice you put in this article. I'm seventeen right now and will be eighteen when I go on the trip to Japan that I'm planning with my best friend. My parents are giving me crap for a multitude of reasons. I know a lot has changed in the world since Covid-19, but my trip is planned for next year when a lot should be different. My parents are also spouting random facts about me getting stolen and sold or being treated like an outcast, etc. But I've come at them with facts and numbers. I'm actually learning Japanese, so language barriers won't be a problem. The vaccination rate in Japan has risen to 50% in just 2 months. Those people are serious; and I truly believe I'll be safe there. Yet, I find myself stuck in this never ending loop with my parents whenever I try to include them in my planning process. They literally shut it down every time, guilt tripping me into not even wanting the trip. Sometimes, I'm so sick of dealing with them that I want to throw in the towel rand call it quits even though I've been looking forward to planning this trip for six months. Any tips on how you were able to convince your parents to let you go to Japan?

Pamm

Friday 28th of May 2021

I am new to the website and I am reading articles hit and miss. I usually don't read comments, but Mena's caught my eye.

So...Mena, if you are still out there, did you make your dream a reality? I hope so as Japan is a spectacular country with generous and kind people.

I so hope you were able to go.

Sophia

Thursday 29th of April 2021

Hey so I’m 14, turning 15 in like 2ish months, I want to go to LA with one of my online friends and my online friend said she would pick me up she is 16, and she said she would escort and travel with me to make sure I am safe, but I don’t know how to convince my family to let me go, I would be staying with some other online friends and there would be adults there too. I have everything and I’m honestly ready to go I just need a little bit more money but I just need to convince my family to let me go somehow. Do you have any tips to help?

girlwiththepassport

Thursday 29th of April 2021

Hey Sophia! Thanks for reading, best of luck with everything, and I hope it all works out. In terms of convincing your parts to let you travel, I would have an open and honest discussion with them about your plans (share your itinerary, what you plan on doing, where you will stay, contact info, how long you'll be away, etc.) and ask them about what most concerns them. In this way, you can both address these concerns and come up with a travel plan that will make them feel more comfortable - including a schedule about when and how you will contact them so they know you're okay. I find that usually in these situations if you let them in, allow them to help plan, and validate their concerns, parents are usually more amenable to letting you travel But obviously everyone is different so responses will vary by person. It also requires that you do your part and do all the appropriate research and ensure that you are putting yourself in the safest situations. All the best and hope that helps!

Raquel Salvador

Thursday 31st of December 2020

Ello there this was pretty useful; but am afraid what my parents would say if i tell them that i wanted to save up money to travel alone towards USA to meet for real somone i been talking to there very nice. I wish some day I can meet him in reality. So if you got any suggestions plz be glad to know. Also been documentating myself to see what do I need to get there witch means e VISA my Passaort I dont know where my parents left and some medical assegurance as well. Though I will need at least 1000 dollars I will need to exchange my euros for. See you

girlwiththepassport

Tuesday 5th of January 2021

Hey! Thanks for reading and for the great question. I would approach them maybe once you get closer to actually leaving because there's really no point in drudging this all up if your visa is denied or you can't get to the US. However, once you do finally get things into place, I would just talk to them openly and honestly. Explain things, get their thoughts and opinions, let them voice any concerns they have, and maybe even let them virtually meet this person you want to see. I would also share all of the safety measures you would take and put in place before meeting this person because I assume their primary concern would your well=being and safety. Hope that helps and thanks for reading!

Heather Chandler

Tuesday 20th of October 2020

I'm 14 and planning on meeting my girlfriend in another state. The female solo travel self defense came in handy, and my girlfriend's mom said "She seems like a nice young lady", so who knows! I might get to go lol. I came across this and the blog seems amazing, will be sticking around.

girlwiththepassport

Tuesday 20th of October 2020

Thanks so much for reading Heather and so glad it seemed to work on. Thanks for the kind words! I really appreciate it!

Comments are closed.