Trust me, Peru Itinerary Planning is TRICKY
Oh wow, you’re going to Peru and are now Peru Itinerary Planning? Wait, timeout. You’re going to see Machu Picchu? I have NEVER heard of that before. You’ll be like the ONLY one there. Wow. That is such an original idea!!
Okay, okay. I’m totally joking here. When you go to Peru you have to go to Machu Picchu. And even with the crowds and the difficulty of getting there, I am happy to report that the experience is totally worth it. So enjoy because it really is an adventure of epic proportion (It can get pricey though so check out this South America budget for backpackers).
But if you are anything like me, you order your Lonely Planet Guide to Peru, off Amazon, right after you book your flight because, let’s face it, you want to be prepared and see everything there is to see.
Once your order is complete, you keep refreshing your Amazon app, tracking the order, hoping against hope that it will arrive immediately because you want to see the cool things that Peru has to offer. I mean, there has got to be more to the country than Machu Picchu right?
Well yes. Most countries have a wealth of cultural treasures that extend beyond a single cultural icon. And Peru is no exception to this rule. But planning a trip to Peru is tricky. I should know because I made a ridiculous number of mistakes when planning my trip there. I mean, I hadn’t even left the country and I was already destroying a 3-week tour of this delightful, South American country (I’m surprised my poor planning didn’t cause an international incident.).
So before you dig into some Peruvian ceviche and chase it down with a neon yellow Inca Cola, I suggest you take a second to skim through this article and read about my Peru Itinerary Blunders and the Mistakes You Need to Avoid to have the BEST Vacation in Peru (Wish I had read this Peru Itinerary Guide before I planned my trip). Because let’s keep it real, I’m not some ultra-cool, travel guru. I am just a woman who loves to travel and who makes a TON of mistakes along the way. But that’s totally fine because we laugh about them here and you thank God you’re not me, and then you avoid my mishaps because as they say in School House Rock, “Knowledge is Power!” (If you don’t know School House Rock you should youtube it. They have some of the best songs. Like, “conjunction junction, what’s your function?”. Too bad a melody doesn’t translate via a blog.) And because of this post, you have the knowledge and power to have the best Peru Trip possible.
1. Assuming Peru is a tropical paradise
Kelly’s Brain: “Oh hey, Peru is right near the Amazon and near the Equator, so it will be super hot there. I will just bring a ton of suntan lotion, shorts, and t-shirts. That should be good. It’s not cold there or anything…”
Talk about famous last words. No! This is a lie! Don’t believe a word your brain tells you. Peru is freaking freezing. That’s why they have Alpacas. They use their fur to keep warm. I know this was shocking to me but just because it’s South America and it’s near the Equator, doesn’t mean it’s hot.
Truthfully, I have no idea what I was thinking because Peru lies across the Andes Mountains. And the Andes are not pip squeak mole hills. They are like Big Bertha Big. Like, Mount Everest Big. Okay maybe not that big, but when you reach those high altitudes, it gets cold!
So don’t be the chump who goes on a Sacred Valley tour, freezes, and then has to buy all the most expensive Alpaca gear at the local tourist trap because she has nothing to wear and her lips are turning blue (No. That wasn’t me. That was a friend. I errr am WAY more savvy than that. Pssh. Insert fake eye roll.) Seriously, who buys alpaca leg warmers in some weird Aztec print? What was I thinking? h wait, clearly I wasn’t.
2. I’ll just nonchalantly stroll through the Amazon. No biggie.
Yeah no. I think I am the only human being who suddenly realized, “Oh gee, it’s the rainforest. There may be some tropical diseases that I MIGHT want to take precautions against. You know, like Malaria.”
This is all sadly true by the way. I really forgot all about Malaria until like three weeks before my trip. I was gonna just go and hope for the best, but then I remembered this sad movie about Malaria with Hillary Swank (of course it’s sad, all Hillary Swank movies are sad.). Well, I won’t give it away but the movie scared me enough to NOT want to get Malaria.
I then think, “Ehh. No problem. I’ll just roll up to my doctor, grab a prescription, and head on my merry way to meet Tarzan in the jungle (Sorry Jane. You’re not invited.). No big deal.” WRONG!! You have to go to an infectious disease doctor (at least in the US) to get Malaria pills. But you can’t just go because they are fancy smancy specialists that require an appointment like a month in advance. So yeah, that was stellar. I could get an appointment AFTER my trip. Yes. That is so super helpful. Just kidding. It was awful.
I ended up skipping the Amazon because I couldn’t get Malaria pills in time (all this would have cost an arm and leg too because it was NOT covered by my insurance since my travel plans were “elective”. Thanks lousy American healthcare.) Moral of the story, make an appointment to get Malaria pills more than a month before your trip, if you’re planning to travel to the Amazon or any place where mosquitos carry Malaria. This way, you will get to see the Amazon and not have to worry about all the killer, infectious diseases that the mosquitoes are carrying around you (No. You’ll just have to worry about the 10,000 other things that can kill you in the Amazon. Just kidding. The Amazon has pink dolphins so it’s all good.).
3. You’ll just stroll up the Inca Trail and hike up to Machu Picchu. No one would ever want do that.
HAHAHA. That’s really what I thought. I literally read this book and was like, “Oh wow. That sounds so romantic. I want to camp along a jungle trail and retrace the historic steps of the Inca people.” I could just imagine ascending the mountain with just my pack on my back and a canteen in hand (I dunno. That just sounds way more Indiana Jones than a water bottle.). As I finally reach the crest of the hill, as sweat steadily drips off my furrowed brow, I look up and see the sun glimmer off of the timeless beauty and majesty that is Machu Picchu; a settlement lost in time.
Sounds pretty stellar, right? Well that’s what I thought too, until I decided to book the trip. First of all it is like $600 and takes four days (There are also two and five day options but four days is the classic choice.). Now, I am by no means an Olympic athlete, so four days trekking might kill me. I mean I lift food to my mouth, does that count as exercise? Plus factor in the altitude and I would have just another discarded ruin along the way.
This is also my not so sneaky way of reminding you to prepare physically before undertaking this hike. But aside from all that, apparently this “majestic trail” is a highway because it gets sold out like 6 months in advance (I know they have a limited number of tickets but still. A lot can change in 6 months. I mean, I could get married! Just kidding. There is a greater chance that I would get eaten by a heard of cats. Especially if he reads this blog.).
Well, needless to say, I did not make it to the Inca trail because I did not plan far enough in advance. So don’t be like me and book your trek WAY in advance (FYI there is also a good Inca Jungle Trek that is a fun alternative to the Inca trail. Plus, this trail is less famous and therefore, easier to book.)
4. Train Travel is NOT faster and easier than bus travel, at least in Peru.
When I traveled to Peru, i had not used public transportation abroad in a really long time. Therefore, the only public transportation reference I had was my experiences with it in China. There, the train is usually the fastest and most economical way to get around the country. Well, silly me, i assumed that this generality would be true for Peru too. I mean Peru and China are like totally the same country right? Just kidding. Nope. Not even a little bit.
Because of my mistaken beliefs, I booked some weird, luxury train from Cuzco to Lake Titicaca and not only was it expensive, the trip took forever. After awhile i was like enough of the Andes, I want to get to the damn lake. Plus I need to pee and these bathrooms don’t smell that luxurious. Okay maybe that was just me but to make a long story short, I forgot that the Andes Mountains cover most of Peru. And because they are so high, the fastest and easiest way, apart from flying, to get around Peru is by bus (FYI some bus companies seem to get attacked by robbers so just make sure you invest in the more expensive tickets with the better bus companies.). So back away from the train and rock your bus pass instead.
5. No big deal, i’ll just book the train to Machu Picchu when I get to Peru. It’s off season anyway.
LIE!!! The train to Machu Picchu is always packed, and yes, that’s the only way to get there. So if you think you’ll just take a car or bus there, you won’t because a road doesn’t exist. The only way to get to Machu Picchu is through Aguas Calientes and you can only get there by train (or if trek along the infamous Inca Trail).
Well, thank God I managed to secure a ticket because it was a little dicey for a while there. And mind you, this was in the off season. Just imagine how difficult it would to secure a ticket to Machu Picchu in high season. That’s why you should just book your train ticket to Machu Picchu well in advance (The ticket will be to Aguas Calientes since that’s the name of the town at the base of the mountain. I suggest spending the night there and then heading to Machu Picchu in the early morning, when the mountain is less crowded.)
6. Nazca looks nice. I’ll spend a few days there and relax after seeing the Nazca Lines.
Hmm… How do I put this delicately? There is nothing to do in Nazca and it is not the safest place to be (The hotel owner would not let me go to the ATM alone because he said I would get mugged.). Plus, people really only visit Nazca for the Nazca Lines, so the city tries to manufacture a bunch of tourist attractions that are honestly, pretty lame. Truthfully, I really don’t care about some ancient water filtration system, thanks.
So don’t waste your time here. Get in the plane, see the Nazca Lines, and bounce. Nothing else to see or do here (Get the most expensive plane ticket because the vendor told me, “The C planes are low quality and leave in the afternoon and crash a lot. I would purchase an A ticket instead.” After that comment I was totally freaked out and thought I would die in a firey ball of airplane wreckage, but I did get the A ticket and lived to tell the tale. Phew!).
7. Oh awesome. My hotel will be vintage and romantic near the quaint, historic, “Old Town” of Lima, Peru.
So umm yeah. I kind of just looked at the price of my hostel and didn’t actually consider why it was so cheap. And I should have known something was up because even the cab driver didn’t want to drive me there. But once I got there, I knew it was super sketch. Not only was the place dilapidated, but I could hear gun shots outside and was terrified that if I put my bare feet on the floor, I would contract some weird flesh eating virus.
That’s why you should ALWAYS look at independent reviews of a hotel/hostel before you make a reservation. This way, you can confirm that the place you are staying is not in fact, some whack roach motel (I mean, I’m not a wuss. I have held hissing cockroaches as a naturalist, but that doesn’t mean I want these skeevy things sleeping with me at night).
Also, be VERY wary of cab drivers. I have heard horror stories of cab drivers stealing people’s things or abducting them altogether. Therefore, only ask for a taxi from a reputable, tourist attraction like a museum or hotel. DO NOT hail a taxi directly from the street. And yes, you will need a taxi, in Lima, because the only other public transportation available is the bus. But don’t be nervous. I ran into no problems and I attract disaster like the Titanic. So I wouldn’t lose too much sleep over it. Just be careful.
8. Rainbow Mountains? What rainbow mountains?
I feel totally ripped off. I went to Peru back in 2013 and there was no talk of a Rainbow Mountain Trek in Peru, right around Cuzco! And trust me, I went to like a bazillion different tour operators. So instead of
So if you’re headed to Cuzco, make time for this trek. You won’t be disappointed. It looks super cool and I’m still resentful that no one ever mentioned this epic mountain to me when I was there (Envision an adult temper tantrum where I am whining and stamping my feet. Okay, done guys. Thanks for letting me keep it real.).
PS If you want to check out more fun things to do in Peru, click Here.
So yeah, stay away from kidnapping cabbies, DON”T DRINK THE WATER (Don’t even put it on your toothbrush), roll into Peru with some malaria medication induced swag, and kick ass and take names in the Amazon, Machu Picchu, and Rainbow Mountain. You OWN this trip because not only will you avoid my mistakes, but you will have the time of your life because Peru is an absolutely incredible place with truly inviting people (Minus my ex because he was an ass. But he grew up in the States so he doesn’t really count.). Trust me, you will not regret going here.
Awesome job – you made a ‘disaster’ of a trip sound like an absolute adventure!! (Haha) I haven’t been to Peru yet, but will absolutely take all your advice, thanks for sharing! 🙂
Still looks like you had an amazing time. You’ll just need to go back to see the rainbow mountains
I am pretty sure you need to change your choice of travel guides :)) You know, ditch printed, go online and try other bloggers.
On another note, damn, you are funny!
Great post Kelly so funny. I agree with you on Rainbow mountains. Are they really that close to Cuzco because I never saw them either!! Glad to say I booked in advance so did Inca Trail but I can imagine how popular it is so good tips about booking early ?
Hello, nice funny tips!! I fly to peru next friday ! Excited (but Also stressed!)…
What about the inca trek? I never did à trek, would you advise a very beginner to do it?
Wow that was hilarious!!! Sometimes I fail to plan in advance even though I’m usually an over planner!!!
So many things about this made me super nostalgic. Like the fact that you mentioned “Conjunction junction” out of all the possible School House Rock songs, lol! And neon yellow inca cola (I actually think it tastes revolting, but picturing the bottle and the color comforts me in some weird way). Anyway, this was such a useful guide! I have been to Peru previously, and I didn’t hear jack about this Rainbow mountain either! I also didn’t hike the Inca trail OR see the Nazca lines (like did I even go there?) Point being, I’ll need to go back and your post will help me!
You are too funny! I love your quirky writing style! Though I’m sorry you had to go through all those mistakes, but thanks for sharing it 🙂
Such a fun read and this is like the first time I read in detail about a trip to Peru, so much to discover! I bet you didn’t sleep well in the hostel with the gunshots outskide (OMG), but glad you came off the trip all fine and healthy! Plenty of valuable tips in here, thanks!
You are genuinely funny:-) humor is the best way to tackle travel fails and you have plenty of that! Will keep all of these cautionary anecdotes in mind when it is my turn to go see Peru!
Hilarious as always! And so true! We spent 2 months in Peru and made SO many mistakes (like spending a whole month in the northern part of Peru, which is basically the way you described Nazca. …. FOR A MONTH) and ended up kinda killing our own trip for us. Attempting to hike the Inca Trail & failing was the cherry on top of our fail-trip. So you’re lucky you skipped that bit 😛
Hahah this is hilarious!! I just returned from Peru myself and literally LOL-ed at Rainbow Mountain! For some reason people don’t really talk about them!
Also I did Peru on a budget and was flabbergasted at how expensive Machu Picchu was – USD 140 for a return train from Cuzco? Nope. Taking the colletivo instead and walked along the railway. USD30 for a return bus from Aguas Calientes to Machu Picchu? Nope. Hiked an hour to save money. Also, did you went to Huaraz? That was my favourite part of Peru!
I didn’t get there!!! Oh man. So bummed!
Hey guys I think a quick Google is in order I spoke to locals when I was there in November 2017 and until about 5 years ago that mountain (now rainbow mountain) was covered in snow. Which is why if your reading older blogs and talking to people who went a little while ago they wont recommend it because it was really not there to see at the time.
Thanks for checking it out. So good to know that.
A great read and some good suggestions! At least you came away with some funny stories to share, but I think all of us can relate. Travel is all about adventure, making mistakes and hoping you don’t die in the process! But yeah, malaria tablets… 😉
Sidenote: can you get malaria tablets online in the US? That’s what I do in the UK. Just tell them where you’re going and for how long, answer a few health questions and they issue a private prescription and the tablets. But don’t know if that works for you guys!
Good suggestion. I doubt it because we can’t get perscriptions online but good suggastion!!
Love how honest and humble you are! We’ve all had those trips but fortunately it was in Peru, one of the greatest countries on earth so you still had an amazing experience. And of course you’ll be back for the rainbow mountains!
I have to!! Who doesn’t love a rainbow?
The malaria pills ARE a good idea, but beware of the side effects. I paid a bit extra for the less terrible ones, but they just made me sick if I didn’t eat first–and just very sleepy. Even with the ones with no crazy side effects, they can still be such a pain. Still a good idea though!
I never got them so it’s goodbto know
Great to know we all make mistakes. Loved reading this post. Peru is now on my bucket list!
You’ll have a blast. Great place.
Love this! Peru is number one on my bucket list and I’ve been dying to see Machu Picchu. My coworker just came back from there actually and said the same thing about the Inca trails and that it takes days to complete. Except he told me the tours are $1000 and up! $600 sounds like a deal in comparison – although still a bit pricey. Ughhh such mixed feelings about visiting!
I guess it depends on the tour operator but either way a big investment
That is a super useful post. Especially for advising that Peru is not a tropical paradise. The pic with the lama is epic.
OMG I have to visit Peru once I move back to the Stateside!! Machu Picchu has been a dream for me for 10 years and I can’t believe I still haven’t gotten to do this (nowhere close to it either now that I’m living in Asia). But someday I just have to. And that Rainbow Mountain looks great, looks more like sandwich at first glance :p Sorry you didn’t get to see it. Anyway, pinning this and will need to heed these advice if I get the chance to go!
So glad to hear this and have fun exploring asia!!
Headed to Peru in a little over a week. Rainbow mountain was on our itinerary, but I actually took it off. Most of the reviews I have read say that for the 3am wakeup call to drive for 4 hours then hike for another 3 or yield muted color mountains at best and just not worth it if you are budgeting your days in Peru. We are instead opting for Lake Humantay.
Good to know. It’s funny because when I was there, the rainbow mountains wasn’t even a thing. I didn’t even know it existed but good to know that I didn’t miss out on too much.
Hello, nice funny tips!! I fly to peru next friday ! Excited (but Also stressed!)…
What about the inca trek? I never did à trek, would you advise a very beginner to do it?
I loved your story! I felt like you in some part of my trip to Peru, you never know what is going to come! Perhaps I would say that not brushing your teeth with Peruvian water is exaggerated because if you don´t drink it is ok. There are other tips I would add.
Thanks so much for reading! I will absolutely check this article out! I should have read it before I went!
Do you recommend going to Lake Titicaca? I’ve heard mixed reviews. Debating doing that or going back and doing stuff around Lima and the beach OR doing the Amazon. (Already spending a few days in Lima, 1-day Machu picchu trek, rainbow mountain trek, and 1 day in Cusco)
Omg yes! I honestly really loved the floating reed islands and would definitely visit. But I wouldn’t stay very long since puno is not my favorite city. I did a home stay and loved my experience.
I am 86+ and have travelled. a bit…. I love all these comments; have kids your parents age and grandkids in their 20s ssts 40s. I didn’t see any input from people my age, So II thought I would put in some comments about travel to Peru- especially as it applies to older people. I applaud all of you young folks without fat wallets and with a wonderfully romantic vision of travel to exotic places. Some of them live in my family. That said, here is a little advice from a well-traveled Grandma: You younger travelers may know all of this already, but pass it on to your adventurous oldsters, because it is for them. It is even valuable for those who are contemplating tours to exotic areas. When going to a place where both the culture and environment are different from what you know, DO RESEARCH, then get protected from scary viruses, find out what is important to see there, maybe find out how to pronounce their language, take a good MAP. All of this will make your visit vastly more enjoyable. PS. No mention in this lovely article was made of the Gold Museum in Lima, which is fabulous. And,finally, if you want a really great trip, hire a local guide. They aren’t that expensive. Remember: you are investing in a once in a lifetime adventure. Yours from Ann
Thanks Ann! Such great advice that I am so happy you shared. And the gold museum in Lima sounds very cool! Wish I knew about it when I was there!
Hi fab blog, I am going to Peru on a guided trip for 2 weeks in 8 days. My pharmacist said we didn’t need malaria tablets because even though we are going to the Amazon basin and there are mosquitoes there is no malaria. He also said not a good idea to take the tablets unless really necessary as they are not good for you. I am not really confused and concerned as I haven’t got them and it may be to late to start the courseif needed? Any thoughts please. Xxx
I wish I knew a bit more about this but sandly I skipped the Amazon for this reason. All I can say is that I would listen to your doctor who knows way more about these things than I do.
Great article! You have nice alternative treks for the inca trail as well. We did the Salkantay trek and it was great! You don’t have the book this one (much) in advance and the local company (we did it with salkantay trek company) arranges everything (ticket for machu picchu, train,…). They have an amazing sky camp at the first day of the trekking! Still quit expensive though. One more tip: try to be as early possible to take the bus from aguas calientes (first one leaves at 5.20) or hike up the incastairs (bridge opens at 5) to be one of the first one to see machu picchu. It is truly worth it!
Such great tips! Thanks so much for sharing and I am so glad that you had an amazing time
Thanks for shaing this information.Have shared this link with others keep posting such information..
So glad to hear that and thanks so much for the comment.
I totally skipped cuzco on my recent adventure to peru and sent straight into the jungle (Iquitos)…. tbh you could’ve went without the malaria pills I did! Its rare there plus they can have bad side effects. I didn’t even get yellow fever vaccine due to a dosage in the usa. It was totally worth it! I was suppose tti stay in lima for 5 days and when I stepped foot in lima I instantly booked a flight back to the jungle. I don’t regret it all and even got to go to a village with a local that I met and got the rare experience.
That sounds amazing and good to know! Hopefully, I can get back and visit the jungle and I agree about Lima. Not my fave city in the world. Lol.
I like this post, enjoyed this one thanks for putting up.
So glad you enjoyed it! Thanks for reading
Loved this article!
Thanks you
Greetings from Peru :-). Loved to read this. However, as someone who lives here, I can assure you that you get buy Malaria pills at any pharmacy and also get all kind of vaccines (cheaper than in most Western countries). The Yellow Fever shot is even available at Jorge Chávez Airport in Lima. I’m currently planning a 3-weeks itinerary for my daughter and her boyfriend. The distances, different climates and difficult access to many mountain or jungle areas make it difficult.
So glad to hear that. Wish I had known that before traveling to Peru! Great advice!
I love your writing!! thanks for traveling solo and empowering other woman to do the same!
Thank you so much! I am so happy to hear that!