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My non-existent psychic powers are telling me that you’re looking for some of the BEST quotes about Amsterdam?

Am I right? Of course, I am. The not-so-original title kind of gave it away. But, you know what? That’s totally okay since I love all things Amsterdam (like this list of amazing Amsterdam hidden gems) and want to share some of my absolute favie fave picks for the 100+ best Amsterdam captions around.

Because as an avid lover of clogs, tulips, Dutch pancakes, and all things Amsterdam, I’ve visited this beyond gorg city countless times and am always left feeling a bit like Oliver Twist.

You know, that part in the novel where he utters that ridiculously famous line, “Please sir, I want some more.” Yeah, that’s kind of how I feel about Amsterdam, and am forever wanting more. 

It’s like regardless of how many times I visit this dream destination and purchase more Amsterdam souvenirs than I could possibly carry, I still can never seem to get enough of this amazing capital city.

And because I don’t exactly have a hidden trust fund or an off-shore bank account to call my own, I can’t exactly throw caution to the wind and just up and move there. 

Yup, I totally wish I could but that’s currently not an option for about 10,000 different reasons. 

Anyway, that’s also why I have to satiate my neverending thirst for all things Dutchie goodness with this ultra-rad list of the 100+ best quotes about Amsterdam. 

Also, because I’m an avid, daily user of Instagram, I can guarantee that this is a finely curated collection of Amsterdam captions and quotes that are sure to inspire your followers and get those creative juices flowing for any blog posts that you may be writing (yes my fellow bloggers, I see you over there).

 So, without further adieu, my list of the 100+ best quotes about Amsterdam (while you’re here, you can also check out these awesome quotes about Rome too). 

Dear wonderful, beautiful, and oh-so-amazing reader (Yup, I lay it on thick for my dozens of fans). Since I am incapable of making it rain money, there’s a high probability (like 99.999%) that this post may contain affiliate links. Please see my disclosure for more information. As an Amazon Associate, I earn a small commission from qualifying purchases.

Amsterdam Quotes for Instagram

Doing it all for the gram? If so then these bananas-level awesome quotes about Amsterdam are definitely for you! Because this section right here? Well, it’s chocker box full of epic Amsterdam captions that will quickly have the entirety of your Instagram fandom swooning with delight. 

Trust me, these are amazing Amsterdam captions that will perfectly encapsulate your undying love and devotion for all things Amsterdam.

And if you REALLY love Amsterdam like whoa, then be sure to check out this guide to 3 perfect days in Amsterdam. #justayin (Sorry, I just had to put the hashtag in their because we were talking all about da’ gram). 

1. Dam Good Vibes #damgoodvibes ?

2. Paradise isn’t always tropical

3. Do it for the Amstergram!

4. AMS = absoloutely magical streets

5. Amsterspam

6. Name the city: AM⭐️DAM

7. Dutch courage

8. Too Dutch of a good thing

9. Amster-dayum

10/ ?dam

11. Gram the dam

12. I left my heart in Amsterdam

13. I’d rather be in Amsterdam

14. When in Amsterdam…

15. I Amsterdam

16. Dutch of dutchness

17. Amsterdamage

18. You call it a city of sin, I call it a city of freedom.

19. The city of bikes

20. Hands up if you’ve fallen in love with Amsterdam ?

21. When in Amsterdam…

22. My favorite city to pedal around

23. Good food, good mood

24. Seize the holiday

Awesome Quotes About Amsterdam

Looking for inspiring Amsterdam quotes from humans who are infinitely more articulate than me? If so then check out this selection of awesome quotes about Amsterdam. 

Because although I know it might be hard to believe, words can sometimes escape me (shocking but 100% true) – especially when it comes to describing the awe-inspiring beauty of Amsterdam. 

So, rather than horendously failing at waxing lyrical about Amsterdam, just check out these nifty Amstagram captions instead.

Quotes about Amsterdam 

25. “From little seeds, great flowers grow.” – Jessie Burton (English author and actress)

26. “But words are water in Amsterdam, they flood your ears and set the rot, and the church’s east corner is crowded.” – Jessie Burton (English author and actress)

27. “Amsterdam is a breeding ground for new creative pursuits in many areas fuelled by a tolerance and openness to ideas, unlike any other city I’ve been to. There is something for everyone here, especially when you dare to go off the beaten path.” – Marcel Wanders (Dutch designer)

28. “I was told David Letterman and Kaufman had heart attacks on the same day. David Letterman’s heart attack was at a hospital in NYC. Kaufman’s heart attack was at the red light district in Amsterdam. I think Kaufman had more fun.”– Howard Stern (American radio host)

29. “Amsterdam is not Holland. It is a city that attracts people from all over Holland. And lots of international tourists and party people.”– Eddy de Clercq (Belgian-Dutch music producer)

30. “Here people cycle with a reckless swagger, talking on the phone and eating breakfast.” – David Nicholls (an English novelist and screenwriter who wrote One Day and Sweet Sorrow)

31. “In Amsterdam, the river and canals have been central to city life for the last four centuries.” – Janet Echelman (American artist)

32. “What’s special about Amsterdam is that the city is able to connect worlds that are not otherwise connected.” – Marcel Wanders (Dutch designer)

33. “…the curious Dutch classification gedogen, which means ‘technically illegal but officially tolerated’.”– Russell Shorto (American author)

34. “Some tourists think Amsterdam is a city of sin, but in truth, it is a city of freedom. And in freedom, most people find sin.” – John Green, an American author of Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska

35. “Amsterdam has more than 150 canals and 1,250 bridges, but it never seems crowded, nor bent and bitter from fleecing the tourist.” – Julie Burchill (English Journalist)

36. “Stand outside De Eland on the Berenstraat Bridge over the Prinsengracht and you see what real Amsterdam life is like.” – David Hewson (British author)

37. “Amsterdam was a great surprise to me. I had always thought of Venice as the city of canals; it had never entered my mind that I should find similar conditions in a Dutch town.” – James Weldon Johnson (American writer)

38. “I think Amsterdam is to Holland what New York is to America. It’s a metropolis, so it’s representative of Holland, but only a part of it – you know, it’s more extreme, there’s more happening, it’s more liberal and more daring than the countryside in Holland is.” – Anton Corbijn (Dutch photographer)

39. “In Amsterdam, the water is the mistress and the land the vassal.” – Félix Martí Ibáñez (Spanish doctor)

40. “I love Amsterdam. The city is vibrant and alive. It’s fresh and so open. It’s definitely one of my favorite places.” – Stefon Harris (American jazz musician)

41. “Amsterdam lives and breathes creativity. One moment you walk into a building from the 17th century and the next you find yourself in a hub of creative start-up companies.” – Marcel Wanders (Dutch designer)

42. “Amsterdam is like the rings of a tree: It gets older as you get closer to the centre.” – John Green (American author)

43. “The many cultures in Amsterdam contribute to the city’s high level of craziness – something which every interesting city should offer.” – Charles Landry (British author)

44. “Think of all the beauty still left around you and be happy” – Anne Frank (German-Dutch diarist who wrote The Diary of Anne Frank)

45. “I often think that the night is more alive and more richly coloured than the day” – Van Gogh (artist)

46. “I’m just a girl from Amsterdam.” – Eva Simons (Dutch singer)

47. “I am a village boy, and Amsterdam for me was always the big town.” – Anton Corbijn (Dutch photographer)

48. “Amsterdam is not Holland.” – Eddy de Clercq (Belgian-Dutch music producer)

49. “My parents married in 1959 and came to Amsterdam on honeymoon. That was a huge thing, event, for them. Now my children fly off for the weekend to Riga, Prague, or Barcelona.” – Frans Timmermans (Dutch politician) 

50. “I get inspired in certain places. You have to write in places like Amsterdam or Paris or New Zealand, when you’re on a yacht, looking out at the middle of the ocean. ” – Action Bronson (American rapper)

51. “San Francisco is a lot like Amsterdam – free, open-minded, and casual – though I expected better weather.” – Marcel Wanders (Dutch Wanders) 

Funny Quotes About Amsterdam

Looking for a good belly laugh? Well, then get in line because I am right there with you. I mean, given the current state of the world, I think we could all use more than a few good chuckles. 

So, if you’re desperately seeking something to laugh about, then take a gander at these hilarious quotes about Amsterdam. 

And I pinkie promise that they’re actually funny since these Amsterdam quotes right here were thought up by infinitely wittier people than me. 

52. “My experience in Amsterdam is that cyclists ride where the hell they like and aim in a state of rage at all pedestrians while ringing their bell loudly, the concept of avoiding people being foreign to them.” – Terry Pratchett (author of the Discworld series of books)

53. “It’s hard to argue over money when a girl flashes you her pussy.” – Oliver Markus Malloy (German-American comics author)

54. “Historic Amsterdam, that old part you first see when you turn up at Centraal Station, may have its monuments, but it’s also the most tawdry and overcrowded part of the city.” – David Hewson (British author of The Garden of Angels)

55. “I lived on a houseboat in Amsterdam for a year. It was intense, and it’s possible that I even had a few blackouts.” – Wolfgang Beltracchi (German artist)

56. “Call me a pig, but isn’t it brilliantly refreshing how early the Dutch eat dinner? When they’re still laying out the cutlery in achingly hip Barcelona, they’re hanging the Closed sign on the restaurant doors of old Amsterdam.” – Julie Burchill (English journalist) 

57. “My dream holiday would be a) a ticket to Amsterdam b) immunity from prosecution and c) a baseball bat.” – Terry Pratchett (author of the Discworld series of books)

58. “Jan Peter offered to teach me the language of Amsterdam’s red-light district…But after his first phrase, “Using the back door will cost you double’ I withdrew my request.” – Cristina Garcia (Columbian actor)

59. “When the internet arrived in Ireland…it was like having Amsterdam’s red-light district in your own living room.” – Tom Dunne (Irish broadcaster)

60. “Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of Swiss cheese.” – Eoin Colfer (Irish author)

61. “Age is not important unless you’re a cheese.” – Helen Hayes (American actress)

62. “Most visitors to Amsterdam will wander into red-light district out of sheer curiosity. The narrow streets are mostly safe day and night – just don’t try to take pictures of the working women in windows.” – David Hewson (British author)

63. “In the Netherlands now I imagine it’s legal to marry your own children. Get them pregnant, and you can abort your unborn grandbabies in a free clinic that used to be a church.” – David Sedaris (American humorist)

Epic Netherlands Quotes

Love the Netherlands? Then section is gonna be your stroopwafel baby (I was gonna say jam but I feel like stroopwafel would be more appropriate). So, scroll down my fine, Dutch-loving friend and check out all of those beyond glorious Netherlands quotes. 

Besides, who knows, I might have snuck some super secret Amsterdam quotes in here too – just so that I could keep you on your toes…or clogs as the case may be. 

64. “My first experience in the Netherlands was very pleasant, extremely pleasant. I mean, I got my residence permit, refugee status, within four weeks of arrival. People treated me extremely well.” – Ayaan Hirsi Ali (American-Dutch-Somali activist)

65. “The United States of America have taken their name from the United States of the Netherlands.” – Seth Low (former mayor of New York)

66. “In the Netherlands, I read the first chapter of Exquisite Corpse to an audience that laughed in all the place I thought were funny – an experience I’ve never had in America.” – Poppy Z Brite (American author)

67. “Greece is a sort of American vassal; the Netherlands is a country of American bases that grow like tulip bulbs; Cuba is the main sugar plantation of American monopolies; Turkey is prepared to kowtow before any United States proconsul and Canada is the boring second fiddle in the American symphony.” – Andrei Gromyko (former Soviet politician) 

68. “The residence of Plymouth settlers in the Netherlands and the later conquest of the Dutch colonies had brought the Americans into contact with the singularly wise and free institutions of the Dutch.” – Albert Bushnell Hart (American historian)

69. “Much of the Netherlands lies considerably below sea level, as you well know, Through the process of building dykes to wall out the salty sea and through pumping the water into canals, the country of the ingenious, resourceful, and doughty Dutch has literally been born of the sea.” – Joseph B. Wirthlin (American businessman) 

Awesome Amsterdam Puns and Funny Amsterdam Instagram Captions

It’s so GOUDA that you made it to this section of the post where I talk all about puns, glorious Amsterdam puns. I also hope you understood that pretty damn lame pun I just threw your way since, well, Amsterdam is known for it’s Gouda cheese. 

So, brace yourself. Because this is where you’ll find more gloriously lame Amsterdam puns than you could possibly shake a stick at. 

Because as you’re about to find out, Amster-DAYUM is a gouda city. 

Yes my friend, the force of the Amsterdam puns is strong with this one. 

Amsterdam puns

70. Do you like windmills? Cos we’re big fans.

71. Well, I’ll be DAMned!

72. Amster-DAYUM is a gouda city!

73. AMS = awesome many said

74. Anne Frankly, I think this is the best weekend ever.

75. Visiting Amster-DAYUM was definitely too dutch of a good thing!

76. Our last trip DAMaged us!

77. Do you like windmills? ‘Cos the dutch are big fans!

78. Should our TU-LIPS kiss? The answer is DAM girl yes!

79. Amstel in love with Amsterdam.

80. Hey Amsterdam, how’s it growing?!

81. Cycling through Amsterdam was a piece of pancake.

I82.  smoke, therefore I Amsterdam.

83. I drink, therefore I Amsterdam.

84. I cycle, therefore I Amsterdam.

85. Amsterdam, Jordaan pretty!

86. What did The Police get in Amsterdam? A massage in a brothel.

87. Amstel thinking of that time in Amsterdam when….

88. In Amsterdam, everyone’s a bit of a cycle-path.

89. I had a WAFFLE good time in Amsterdam.

90. I didn’t strut through Amsterdam. I STROOPWAFFLED along.

91. Amstel in love with windmills.

92. Amsterdam definitely met our high expectations.

93. Goedemorgen Amsterdam.

94. You’re lookin’ so gouda today.

95. Sadly it is time to Van Gogh this city.

96. Do you think our tu-lips should kiss? Me thinks yes!

97. Too Dutch of a good thing.

98. You are Dutch you eat. 

99. There’s no Dutch thing as bad publicity. 

100. A friend with weed is a friend indeed.

101. Q: How do you steer a boat in Amsterdam? A: With a Dutch rudder.

102. I posted a photo from Amsterdam…got 420 likes.

103. Elon Musk launches two rockets from Amsterdam..Nehterlands.

104. Visiting Amsterdam is like watching the Tour de France. A lot of people on bikes and drugs.

Well, you lover of all things quoterific, this just about concludes my list of the 100+ best quotes about Amsterdam!

I hope you found this list of wicked awesome Amsterdam captions super satisfying and can now relax because you clearly have enough verbage to fill your entire social media queue for a solid year. 

And if you thought that this expert’s guide to the 100+ best quotes about Amsterdam was even a little bit helpful, then pin this now so that you can read it again later!.

Come one, you know you want to. All the cool kids are doing it.